The first chapter is out and I am happy with it, it looks ok considering my not so great writing skills and I have had a few positive comments about it, which I can’t express how happy I am about considering it’s my first completed chapter in a fanfic ever.
Just noticed how I am not praising my self up there? Well there is a reason for that.
I have just entered one of my serious criticism modes, everything I write looks bad and unprofessional and now that I am on to editing the second chapter it's not going so great.
I write something and then delete the whole thing again because I don't think it looks good enough. I have really high expectations in my skills, way higher than I know I am capable of. And when I can't reach those expectations I get angry.
I know I am not being fair on my self, I mean I know people are not great at things when they just start. I have never really written anything all my life, and then when I start, I can't expect to be a professional author strait away. It takes practise.
But this is something I have been struggling with almost all my life, all due to low self-esteem and me doubting in everything I do.
Well I am not going to give up on my fanfic, no way. And I don’t want to let all of you who have read the first chapter hanging, but I am just not sure when I will get past this. I hope it's just and obstacle I need to crawl over so I can get back to my creative mood again.
God even when I am writing this don’t think it looks good enough and keep writing it over and over.
Is there not anyway I can turn of the critique in my head?